Review: If I Die Tonight by Allison Gaylin

Title: If I Die Tonight

Author: Allison Gaylin
Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks

Publishing Date:  March 6th, 2018

Pages: 384
Genre: YA Psychological Thriller/Suspense

Series:  Stand Alone 
Source:  Audio

 

Late one night in the quiet Hudson Valley town of Havenkill, a distraught woman stumbles into the police station—and lives are changed forever.
Aimee En, once a darling of the ’80s pop music scene, claims that a teenage boy stole her car, then ran over another young man who’d rushed to help.
As Liam Miller’s life hangs in the balance, the events of that fateful night begin to come into focus. But is everything as it seems?
The case quickly consumes social media, transforming Liam, a local high school football star, into a folk hero, and the suspect, a high school outcast named Wade Reed, into a depraved would-be killer. But is Wade really guilty? And if he isn’t, why won’t he talk?
Told from a kaleidoscope of viewpoints—Wade’s mother Jackie, his younger brother Connor, Aimee En and Pearl Maze, a young police officer with a tragic past, If I Die Tonight is a story of family ties and dark secrets—and the lengths we’ll go to protect ourselves.

This was a great book. I am finding more and more adult psychological thrillers that I just love. It seems a pattern of late to find the ones that tell the story in pieces and me never knowing what really happened or what is going on. This book fits into that category for sure. The book was a little slower than I liked but it was really good. There was a little bit of suspense and a lot of drama that came out slowly as the book progressed. The mystery of who done it was well played out and the writing was good as well.

Eighty's pop star Aimee Lee comes in the police station one night. Her car was hijacked and used to run over a teenage boy. Across town, Jackie is having some trouble connecting to her two teenage sons. The oldest, Wade, sneaks out and she sees him smoking in front of the house. The next day....The boy that was hit with the car, Liam, a fellow student at Wade's school. He is in the hospital on his deathbed. The officer, Pearl, took the statement from Aimee at the police station and decides something is off with Aimee's story. She starts to investigate. All hands pointing to Wade's guilt, but Pearl doesn't think it was him. This is their story. 

I am coming to the conclusion that these type of books are hard to review. Not because I don’t know how I feel but because I don’t want to give anything away. What I love about psychological thrillers is the psychological part about it. Who is who what is what and the huh? Moments. So I really don’t want to ruin that for anyone else. This book didn’t have as much of not knowing what was true or not, but it did have a lot of chaos and confusion on the many the part of many characters.

This book starts off with a suicide note, which I felt was an excellent way to start a story. Then the story progresses into Aimee, the washed up 80’s pop star coming into the police station, her car was stolen and the thief used it to run over a boy trying to help her. This is where the mystery begins. Who was the thief, the killer?

There are 5 main POVs in this book. There is Aimee, the owner of the car. Pearl, the police officer that took the report. Wade, the teenage boy with the suicide note at the beginning of the story. Conner, who is Wade’s younger brother and then there is the boy’s mother, Jackie. Each one tells the facts, the secrets, the events of the night as the story unfolds. Wade is the person of interest in this story and the story revolves around if he did it or not. The mystery was really good. Even as all the evidence was pointing to Wade committing the crime, it was always questionable to me. It may have been because I didn’t want to believe he did or just simply great writing.

The characters were well developed. I didn’t have a favorite but each person had a quality that made me feel for them and root for them. They each had a past, strong emotions, a feeling of desperation. They had their faults and they had their strengths. I really connected to each one as they told the story.

The plot was well developed. I was really into what really happened and never really figured it out. I don’t think I was trying really hard, I was just focusing on everyone keeping their head above water. At one point in the book, I had a sense of guilt on multiple characters part. Questioning each and everyone involved that night. Where was Wade that night, Was Amiee lying, did the friends of the dead boy really know more than what they were saying. Questions were flying through my mind the entire read.

There wasn’t much action until the very end and it was quick, but there were many moments of suspense and worry and biting my fingernails or gasping. I was satisfied with the end and I really didn’t expect the ending to happen. It was a pretty intense ending. Full of anxiety.

It was a great anxiety induced read. Suspenseful. I loved it! 

Alison Gaylin is a journalist who has covered the arts and entertainment for more than fifteen years. Her first novel, HIDE YOUR EYES, debuted in March, 2005 with nearly a quarter of a million copies in print and was nominated for the prestigious Edgar Award for a first novel. The sequel, YOU KILL ME, was published in 2006 to rave reviews. Her first hardcover, TRASHED, out in September 2007, launched NAL's new Obsidian imprint. Alison lives in upstate New York with her husband, young daughter and old dog.