2018: A Year in Review

Hello everyone. It's been quite a while since Ash and I have blogged. We have missed it bunches and hope this new year brings back the life to our blog. This year has been tough for us. Especially the last 5 months. It has been hectic, emotional and physically draining, and hard. Our family went through some tough times but by far this year was the hardest we have had. I will allow Ash to tell the story, it's more her story, but the end of this year was awfully hard. We are making it through with lots of support and  lots of prayers. 

So in the end we didn't have a lot of time for blogging or reading,  but we did manage to get a lot done at the beginning of the year and some at the end of the year. 

I had 55-  5 star reads: 



Ash-
Like Jenn said, 2018 was a roller coaster. I don't really remember before August to be honest. We had so much happen just from August until... well until now. We still have a lot going on.

I won't talk too much about what happened, because some of it is really hard and well... doesn't seem important anymore.

This is the hardest thing to talk about, by far. But it's also the most important thing. I hadn't had a chance to post about it, because I was feeling crappy, and I thought I'd have so much more time. 

As y'all know in October I posted a bit and then just stopped. The reason for that is because I found out I was pregnant... I was exhausted, I was nauseous, and I just felt like crap. But we were so excited, we had been trying for a few months and when we found out I don't think we've been more excited before ever. 

From the beginning this pregnancy had kicked my butt, I literally felt from the moment my test came back positive that something was wrong. I blamed it on anxiety because we wanted a baby so bad. That's all we talked about, we planned everything. Names, nursery, everything. 

I was cramping a lot, I had to go to the ER a few times, had a lot of blood. But everything with baby was fine. My levels were doing what they needed to, and he was very active. I even got the blood test done to find out the gender. It's a boy! I was a little disappointed because I felt with everything in me that he was a she. Everything. But I loved my little booger. Even with everything he had put me through, I loved him and I couldn't wait to meet him. 

Finn was so excited that he was going to be a big brother, and have a little brother he could teach all about dinosaurs. We decided his name was going to be Greyson Nathaniel Gotham Perez. John added the Gotham in there because he wanted to yell "Gotham needs me!" every time baby Grey cried. We were over the moon.

Then Christmas eve came around, I was having some weird stuff happen and decided to go in... Our world crashed. It crashed hard. We went to get an ultrasound and the words that no parent ever wants to hear... "I'm sorry, there's no heartbeat" I have never felt heartbreak like this, never in my life. I would go through so much just to get my baby Greyson back. We decided I was going to birth him so we could say goodbye. So we did. I had my baby Greyson on December 27th. The birth went wonderfully, he was beautiful. He had all his fingers and toes, you could even see his tiny fingernails. And he was most definitely a boy. He weighed only 2.5 ounces and was 6.5 inches long. And I love him so much. I will always love him.

But my world will never be the same. A piece of my soul is gone. Finn knows his baby brother went to heaven, and he still talks about and talks to Greyson all the time. We even have a bear we named Greyson Bear. He wears one of baby's onesies and we cuddle him anytime we feel sad. There have been a lot of tears on Greyson Bear, but I'm sure he doesn't mind.

Anyway, that's really all I have to say about that. I just felt like I needed to tell y'all about him. Because I love him... I won't post full pictures of him, because it could be triggering for a lot of people. But here's some pictures that I love, and a picture of my new tattoo to remember him. Those are his actual footprints.

Anyway, let's talk books now. Here were my favorites of 2018. I read a bunch from July to about two months ago that I just don't remember what I read lol. So yay for that.