Thursday, January 3, 2019

2018: A Year in Review




Hello everyone. It's been quite a while since Ash and I have blogged. We have missed it bunches and hope this new year brings back the life to our blog. This year has been tough for us. Especially the last 5 months. It has been hectic, emotional and physically draining, and hard. Our family went through some tough times but by far this year was the hardest we have had. I will allow Ash to tell the story, it's more her story, but the end of this year was awfully hard. We are making it through with lots of support and  lots of prayers. 

So in the end we didn't have a lot of time for blogging or reading,  but we did manage to get a lot done at the beginning of the year and some at the end of the year. 

I had 55-  5 star reads: 

The Darkest Star (Origin, #1)Contagion (Contagion, #1)The PartyA Stranger in the HouseThat Touch of Ink (Mad for Mod Mystery, #2)All These Beautiful StrangersAs You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of The Princess BrideIf We Were VillainsNeverworld WakeBring Me BackStake That (Blood Coven Vampire, #2)The Strange Fascinations of Noah HypnotikIf There's No TomorrowOnyx and Ivory (Rime Chronicles, #1)Puddin'Save the DateThe Forgotten OnesBoys that Bite (Blood Coven Vampire, #1)Strange New World (Brave New Girl, #2)Monday's Not ComingThe House SwapHeartlessLast NightUndead Girl GangSunburnPillow Stalk (Madison Night Mystery, #1)The Safest LiesThe Dead ListKids of AppetiteLast NightBeyond a Darkened ShoreWritten in Red (The Others, #1)Wild BirdThe Darkest Minds (The Darkest Minds, #1)Tell Me No Lies (Follow Me Back #2)Children of Blood and Bone (Legacy of OrΓƒ¯sha, #1)The Forbidden Wish (The Forbidden Wish, #1)You're Never Weird on the Internet (Almost)Starry EyesBetter Read Than Dead (Psychic Eye Mystery, #2)Not If I Save You FirstDevils Unto DustFahrenheit 451Amy Chelsea Stacie DeeThe Wrath and the Dawn (The Wrath and the Dawn, #1)Everything, EverythingThe Forgetting (The Forgetting, #1)Ketchup CloudsTo Kill a KingdomThe Wicked DeepKat and Meg Conquer the WorldGod Save the Queen (The Immortal Empire, #1)This Is Our StoryKillman Creek (Stillhouse Lake, #2)

Ash-
Like Jenn said, 2018 was a roller coaster. I don't really remember before August to be honest. We had so much happen just from August until... well until now. We still have a lot going on.

I won't talk too much about what happened, because some of it is really hard and well... doesn't seem important anymore.

This is the hardest thing to talk about, by far. But it's also the most important thing. I hadn't had a chance to post about it, because I was feeling crappy, and I thought I'd have so much more time. 

As y'all know in October I posted a bit and then just stopped. The reason for that is because I found out I was pregnant... I was exhausted, I was nauseous, and I just felt like crap. But we were so excited, we had been trying for a few months and when we found out I don't think we've been more excited before ever. 

From the beginning this pregnancy had kicked my butt, I literally felt from the moment my test came back positive that something was wrong. I blamed it on anxiety because we wanted a baby so bad. That's all we talked about, we planned everything. Names, nursery, everything. 

I was cramping a lot, I had to go to the ER a few times, had a lot of blood. But everything with baby was fine. My levels were doing what they needed to, and he was very active. I even got the blood test done to find out the gender. It's a boy! I was a little disappointed because I felt with everything in me that he was a she. Everything. But I loved my little booger. Even with everything he had put me through, I loved him and I couldn't wait to meet him. 

Finn was so excited that he was going to be a big brother, and have a little brother he could teach all about dinosaurs. We decided his name was going to be Greyson Nathaniel Gotham Perez. John added the Gotham in there because he wanted to yell "Gotham needs me!" every time baby Grey cried. We were over the moon.

Then Christmas eve came around, I was having some weird stuff happen and decided to go in... Our world crashed. It crashed hard. We went to get an ultrasound and the words that no parent ever wants to hear... "I'm sorry, there's no heartbeat" I have never felt heartbreak like this, never in my life. I would go through so much just to get my baby Greyson back. We decided I was going to birth him so we could say goodbye. So we did. I had my baby Greyson on December 27th. The birth went wonderfully, he was beautiful. He had all his fingers and toes, you could even see his tiny fingernails. And he was most definitely a boy. He weighed only 2.5 ounces and was 6.5 inches long. And I love him so much. I will always love him.

But my world will never be the same. A piece of my soul is gone. Finn knows his baby brother went to heaven, and he still talks about and talks to Greyson all the time. We even have a bear we named Greyson Bear. He wears one of baby's onesies and we cuddle him anytime we feel sad. There have been a lot of tears on Greyson Bear, but I'm sure he doesn't mind.

Anyway, that's really all I have to say about that. I just felt like I needed to tell y'all about him. Because I love him... I won't post full pictures of him, because it could be triggering for a lot of people. But here's some pictures that I love, and a picture of my new tattoo to remember him. Those are his actual footprints.




Anyway, let's talk books now. Here were my favorites of 2018. I read a bunch from July to about two months ago that I just don't remember what I read lol. So yay for that.

The Ghost Files (The Ghost Files, #1)The Girl Who Was Supposed to DieNailbiter, Vol. 1: There Will Be BloodThe Girl I Used to BeGirl, Stolen (Girl, Stolen #1)Sky on Fire (Monument 14, #2)The Night She DisappearedSisters of Blood and Spirit (The Sisters of Blood and Spirit, #1)Follow Me Back (Follow Me Back, #1)Everything, EverythingBrave New Girl (Brave New Girl, #1)Red Queen (Red Queen, #1)Reboot (Reboot, #1)You're Never Weird on the Internet (Almost)Tell Me No Lies (Follow Me Back #2)Stillhouse Lake (Stillhouse Lake, #1)Everland (Everland, #1)The Assassin of Oz (The Twisted and the Brave, #2)The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #1)806Fairest (The Lunar Chronicles, #3.5)Winter (The Lunar Chronicles, #4)Strange New World (Brave New Girl, #2)Undead Girl GangThe Secret History of UsSaving RedScreams You HearContagion (Contagion, #1)



      

8 comments:

  1. Ash, I am so very sorry for your loss. <3

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  2. ((HUGS)) I have no words to express how I feel for you. XOXO

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  3. Ash, I am so, so sorry. I wish you and your family peace.

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  4. Oh Ash, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine that feeling. Sending lots of hugs and love your way. XOXO

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  5. 'm sorry for your loss, I know (for personal experience) that nothing I say will make it better but I hope that your tattoo, your family and friends and your beautiful life help you to move on.

    Anyway, what wonderful choice of books.

    Ruth @Reading...Dreaming

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  6. I am so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how you are feeling. I'm sending you so many hugs and love your way. The tattoo you chose to get is truly lovely and a wonderful way to remember him.

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  7. Sorry for what you're going through. A long time ago I had a miscarriage on Christmas Eve. It's hard to celebrate holidays when you suffer such a hard loss. I've had a lot of loss in my life recently, so these holidays weren't the best for me either. Hopefully 2019 will treat you well and I'll be thinking about you!πŸ’œπŸ’œ

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  8. I'm so sorry to hear your news Ash. *hugs*

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